


to see beyond the darkness

by mythicalbeyotch (HazHas4Nips)



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Post-Season/Series 03, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, so season 3 still happened but billy survived basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 06:07:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20402932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazHas4Nips/pseuds/mythicalbeyotch
Summary: Neither of them have actually said out loud why escaping to Mexico right now was so important to them, and the weight of the truth settles heavily atop of Steve’s chest, suddenly making it hard to breath.His gaze unwavering from where it’s locked onto the ceiling, Billy reaches his unoccupied hand out and intertwines their fingers, bringing their hands up to his mouth to kiss each of Steve’s knuckles before settling their hands against his chest.Fuck, the sincerity, intimacy, and gentleness of that action, in such distinct contrast to the aggressive, mean exterior Billy puts on around anyone other than Steve makes the weight on his chest dig deeper, and he doesn’t even fully realize how much it hurts until he hears himself, as if from outside his own body, gasping out a strangled breath.





	to see beyond the darkness

**Author's Note:**

> written for a tumblr kissing prompt because i am completely incapable of writing anything short enough (or not-sexual enough) to just put on tumblr, so here it is. 
> 
> (i have really been struggling with writing recently, so this is the first thing in ages that i have even slightly considered publishing rather than stopping partway through and giving up on writing altogether because i'm so discouraged. i'm trying to be better about not giving up the second the going gets tough, but it's really hard to not feel overwhelmingly discouraged when my writing just doesn't turn out the way i want it to, so we'll see how things go in the future)

Billy rides Steve like there's no tomorrow, sweat dripping down and catching between the ridges of his defined abs, nipples hard and pronounced against his tan chest, shiny from having Steve’s mouth on them or from sweat catching on them is impossible to tell. He made Steve just lay there and take it while Billy does all the work. He doesn’t tie Steve up this time, though, allowing him to grip Billy’s thighs as long as that’s all he touches, but it’s more than enough for Steve, just feeling Billy’s muscular thighs flexing and straining from the effort of fucking himself down on Steve’s cock. 

They’re in some sketchy motel room, somewhere in Mexico. About a week ago, they’d gotten into the Camaro Billy had fixed up and just driven south, away from their ratty but cozy apartment in San Diego, driven down into Mexico for several hours until they found this little motel in the desert, and they’ve barely left the room since. There’s no air conditioning, only a rackety old ceiling fan that doesn’t get very fast and only seems to succeed in stirring up the stale, sex-drenched air around the room a bit. 

Billy moves his hips expertly, for the moment sitting fully in Steve’s lap, taking Steve’s cock all the way as he rotates his hips in almost a dance-like way, gyrating and rocking so good that it takes everything in Steve to stay still and not just pound up into Billy, leaving him trembling almost violently as he lets Billy just use him firstly for his own pleasure and then for Steve’s. 

Billy reaches back and grabs onto Steve’s thigh, anchoring himself on Steve's bent-legs as he lifts up part way and slams himself back down, abruptly changing pace from the slow, sensual grind to brutally fucking himself down on Steve’s cock, so harshly that loud breathes and gasps are punched out of his parted lips each time he sinks down. 

He’s sweating even more profusely, the air in the room so thick it’s almost suffocating them, making Steve feel nearly light-headed as his entire essence is narrowed in until he’s physically incapable of seeing anything over than Billy fucking himself. Steve licks his lips without realizing it as he watches a drop of sweat slide down the side of Billy’s cheek, clinging to his jaw for a few moments until the force of Billy’s harsh movements shakes it free and it falls, pooling against his collarbone. It hurts how much Steve wants to sit up and fucking lick _ everywhere _, but Billy told him to lay back and not touch, so fuck all if he’s not going to do exactly that. 

Billy throws his head back, exposing his neck and making Steve bite back a whimper, his mouth going dry at the sight of Billy so completely engrossed in pleasure. Billy closes his eyes, his long hair sticking to his neck, his forehead, his cheeks with sweat as he works himself punishingly fast and hard down onto Steve. With his one arm still reaching behind to hold Steve’s thigh, he pushes his hair back and off his face with his other hand, fisting his hair atop his head to keep it from sticking to his sweaty skin. 

“Fucking love your fucking cock,” Billy pants out, still not looking down at Steve, just focused on taking his own pleasure. Despite knowing Billy's words and pleasure are all thanks to him, it still makes Steve feel ignored and used, as if Billy’s barely aware Steve's even here literally moments away from completely shattering with pleasure simply if Billy asked him to, and Steve fucking loves that.

“Billy, _please_,” he chokes out, months past caring about how high-pitched and whiny his voice gets when he’s inside Billy. “‘M gonna come, _please_ Billy.” 

“Fuck,” Billy murmurs, eyes snapping down to meet Steve’s. “Always so fucking pretty under me, aren’t you baby? So good for me.”

“_Please, Billy_.”

Billy reaches forward, letting his sweaty curls flop back against his forehead and takes his own cock in hand, immediately jerking himself off fast and sloppy, uncoordinated with the motion of his hips as he blindly searches for his own release. 

“Yeah, fuck, so fucking big in me, aren’t ya?” Billy always gets like this when they’re fucking: unapologetically loud and talkative, sometimes reduced to a continuous stream of simply “fuck” but Steve especially loves when he gets condescending like this, always stating things as questions that Steve is helpless but to agree wholeheartedly with. 

Billy lets go of his death-grip on Steve’s thigh and leans forward quickly, shoving his thumb between Steve’s parted lips. Steve feels his eyes widen exaggeratedly with surprise from the sudden movement, but the shock quickly turns to added arousal. He closes his mouth, wrapping his lips around Billy’s finger and sucking greedily. 

“Yeah, just like that,” Billy murmurs almost reverentially, his face completely in awe of the sight of Steve under him, so open and vulnerable and honest in a way Billy only seems to get when they’re alone and naked like this. 

He twists his wrist slightly so he can cup his palm under Steve’s chin, tilting his head up and delicately stroking a finger across the stubble on Steve’s jaw, a gentle contrast to the exacting speed with which he pistons his hips back onto Steve’s cock. 

“Yeah, fuck, okay, fuckin come for me, pretty boy.” 

A few years ago, it would have been embarrassing to admit how those simple words completely take Steve apart, but he’s long past questioning the things Billy’s capable of inspiring within him or the ways Billy can make him feel better than he’s ever fucking felt before. 

Steve screams out as he arches up away from the bed, eyes screwed shut, legs kicking out haphazardly, and fingers digging pitilessly into the meat of Billy’s strong thighs as he shoots off into the delicious warmth of Billy for what feels like simultaneously hours and also milliseconds. 

When he comes back to his body and opens his eyes, he sees Billy staring unmoving at his face, a look of total, absolute admiration written across Billy’s perfect features that makes Steve blush profusely and want to turn away. 

“Beautiful,” Billy whispers, snapping himself out of whatever trance he’s in and lifting himself off Steve’s softening cock. He jams his thumb forward in Steve’s mouth, making him cough and gag slightly, grinning wolfishly at Steve’s struggle. Hunching forward, he fucks his thumb into Steve’s mouth while fucking his dick into his own fist, only needing a few more moments before he’s choking out Steve’s name and coming over his hand and onto Steve’s chest. 

Because he’s still Billy Hargrove and he’s still mean, he wipes his hand on Steve’s chest, smearing his cum around until he’s satisfied he’s gotten enough off of his hand and ignoring the discomfort it'll cause Steve when it dries on his post-orgasm sensitive skin. 

He collapses on the bed next to Steve, blindly groping around for the edge of the sheet to wipe some of the sweat off his forehead and back of his neck. 

Steve lazily turns his head to the side and watches Billy, his chest physically aching as if his heart is barely able to contain all the love he has for this bronzed-god of a man next to me. 

Billy drops the sheet and turns his head to meet Steve’s gaze, smirking as he catches Steve staring. 

“Doin’ alright, pretty boy?”

Steve just nods, raking his eyes hungrily across Billy’s facial features, as if desperate to memorize everything laid out before him. It makes Billy chuckle and shake his head, rolling over to get a cigarette and his lighter from the bedside table. 

Steve swallows drily as he gazes upon Billy’s broad, muscled back, and he thinks for maybe the millionth time how fucking weird of a turn his life has taken and how he wouldn’t trade it in for anything. 

Billy lays back against the pillows with a huff, taking a deep inhale on his cigarette and tilting his head back as he exhales. He’s so fucking perfect in everything he does, it fucking hurts how much Steve loves him. 

“‘M glad we came here,” Billy grumbles, staring at the ceiling and not Steve. Despite everything they’ve done together and been through together, they’ve still got their quirks and issues, and they both know by now that Billy has troubles expressing his emotions, particularly if those emotions are positive. So even just vocalizing it, no matter how unnatural it sounds or how adamantly he refuses to acknowledge Steve laying next to him, is progress. 

Steve hums in agreement, still feeling too floaty and loose from his orgasm to muster up the energy for words. 

Neither of them have actually said out loud _ why _escaping to Mexico right now was so important to them, and the weight of the truth settles heavily atop of Steve’s chest, suddenly making it hard to breath. 

His gaze unwavering from where it’s locked onto the ceiling, Billy reaches his unoccupied hand out and intertwines their fingers, bringing their hands up to his mouth to kiss each of Steve’s knuckles before settling their hands against his chest. 

Fuck, the sincerity, intimacy, and gentleness of that action, in such distinct contrast to the aggressive, mean exterior Billy puts on around anyone other than Steve makes the weight on his chest dig deeper, and he doesn’t even fully realize how much it hurts until he hears himself, as if from outside his own body, gasping out a strangled breath. 

Billy’s head snaps over to look at Steve, and for both an eternity and mere seconds, they just stare at each other, Steve’s eyes wide and brimmed with tears, Billy’s brows creased with concern and confusion. 

“Steve?” Billy breathes out, voice painfully tentative, and it’s only then that Steve actually realizes that tears are pouring down his cheeks as he silently sobs. 

“Shit, Steve, what’s wrong? What happened?” 

Billy tugs Steve into his chest and wraps his arms around him, holding him as close as possible as Steve burrows his face into the juncture between Billy’s shoulder and neck. At Billy’s touch, Steve’s sobs become vocal and uncontrollable as he lets them crash over him like violent waves, practically drowning him in his sorrow, Billy’s arms around him and heartbeat beneath Steve’s ear his own anchor keeping him from submerging and never finding his way back up again. 

“What’s wrong, baby? You gotta tell me,” Billy sounds so scared and on the verge of tears himself that Steve can’t help but look up at him, propping his chin up on Billy’s chest to allow him to see Billy’s concerned face staring down at him. 

Billy cups Steve’s cheek, the warmth of the cigarette between his fingers almost too close to his eye. He thumbs at the tears under Steve’s eye, murmuring, probably unconsciously, “oh baby” over and over.

It’s too much, having Billy so close and so open just for Steve.

Steve drops his gaze and stares pointedly at the pillow visible below Billy’s ear. He reaches over and places a hand over Billy’s heart, pressing down enough to feel it and make sure it’s really there. 

“You died,” Steve whispers. “You died, and I couldn’t do anything to save you.”

“Oh,” Billy breathes out, his fingers stroking Steve’s cheek freezing as he processes Steve’s breakdown. “_Oh_.”

“Yeah,” Steve says, frowning bitterly and finally glancing up again. He half-shrugs as if it’s not a big deal, which is fucking dumb because obviously it is. “Happy Fourth of July.” 

Steve lets out a slightly hysterical sounding laugh that quickly morphs into a sob at his own words, moving to duck his head and hide against Billy’s throat. 

“Steve,” Billy says warily. “Baby, I’m here. And I’m not goin’ anywhere.”

“I know,” Steve nods, feeling pathetic as a few tears drip down his cheek and splatters onto Billy’s chest. 

Billy leans forward and excruciatingly gently places open-mouthed kisses against Steve’s cheeks, making Steve gasp wetly as he trails up the paths of the tear tracks, gently pecking the corner of Steve’s eye before repeating the act on Steve’s other cheek. 

Pulling back slightly, Billy breathes out, “I promise, I’m right here. Not goin’ anywhere anytime soon.”

He pecks Steve’s nose once, twice, three times, and Steve smiles lopsidedly at Billy’s silly attempt to cheer him up. “What happened a year ago…. it’s done. It’s gone. It fucking sucked massive dong”— Steve barks out an abrupt laugh— “but we _made_ _it_, and we’re here.” 

Billy leans in and places a soft, sweet kiss against Steve’s lips. He murmurs into Steve’s mouth, “Can’t get rid of me that easily, pretty boy. It’s gonna take a hell of a lot more than monsters and shit to keep me from you.” 

Steve chuckles and closes the distance between their mouths again, kissing Billy as if their lives depended on it. He feels the familiar ache in his chest, the one he gets when he just feels so fucking much for this asshole he’s chosen to spend his life with, and he vaguely thinks that he’d do anything to stay in this moment right here forever.


End file.
